- Upcoming Events
- Client only Groups and Workshops
- Previous Events and Workshops
- CPD Training with Christianne Sanderson
One in Four is an equal opportunity service and we recognise that both female and males survivors are to have equal access to our service. All workshops are open to women and men.
Free – Awareness Raising Workshops for Clients – 2014
All workshops are delivered in an accepting environment that promotes self-awareness and exploration. Whilst individuals will take away what they need from our work together, the workshops are not a substitute for therapy and we always recommend individuals ensure they have emotional support in place if they feel the content may stimulate past experiences.
Abandonment – Saturday 22nd November 2014
Abandoholism sets in when you’ve been hurt so many times that you’ve come to equate insecurity with love. Unless you’re pursuing someone you’re insecure about, you don’t feel in love.
Conversely, when someone comes along who wants to be with you, that person’s availability fails to arouse the required level of insecurity. If you can’t feel those yearning, lovesick feelings, then you don’t feel attracted, so you keep pursuing unavailable partners.
Abandoholism is driven by both fear of abandonment and fear of engulfment.
When you’re attracted to someone, it arouses a fear of losing that person. This fear causes you to become clingy and needy. You try to hide your insecurity, but your desperation shows through, causing your partners to lose romantic interest in you. They sense your emotional suction cups aiming straight toward them and it scares them away.
Fear of engulfment is at the opposite end of the spectrum. It occurs when someone is pursuing you and now you’re the one pulling back. You feel engulfed by that person’s desire to be with you. When fear of engulfment kicks in, you panic. Your feelings shut down. You no longer feel the connection. The panic is about your fear of being engulfed by the other person’s emotional expectations of you. You fear that the other person’s feelings will pressure you to abandon your own romantic needs.
Fear of engulfment is one of the most common causes for the demise of new relationships, but it is carefully disguised in excuses like: “He just doesn’t turn me on.” Or “I don’t feel any chemistry.” Or “She’s too nice to hold my interest.” Or “I need more of a challenge.”
Abandoholics tend to swing back and forth between fear of abandonment and fear of engulfment. You’re either pursuing hard-to-get-lovers, or you’re feeling turned off by someone who IS interested in you.
These patterns may have been cast in childhood. You struggled to get more attention from your parents but you were left feeling unfulfilled, which caused you to doubt your self-worth. Over time, you internalized this craving for approval and you learned to idealize others at your own expense. This became a pattern in your love-relationships.
Now as an adult, you recreate this scenario by giving your love-partners all of your power, elevating them above yourself, recreating those old familiar yearnings you grew accustomed to as a child. Feeling emotionally deprived and “less-than” is what you’ve come to expect.
Please note that our groups are mixed gender and are free
7 Week Self Help Group – 24/10/14 – 5/12/14
One in Four has been awarded a grant from Lewisham Council to develop and deliver a series of workshops for survivors of sexual abuse and/or sexual violence.
The groups are facilitated by trained and Accredited Counsellors / Psychotherapists over a seven week period. Each session lasts for 90 minutes with a membership of no more than 10 individuals. The sessions are open female and male group members. This is part of our aim to support individuals who access our services.
The workshops focus on the following themes:
- The Effects of Childhood Sexual Abuse
- Self Blame
- Your Emotional Self
The group meet at our South East London branch: between the hours of 11.30am – 1pm at One in Four, 219 Bromley Road, London, SE6 2PG.
For further information,please contact
Catherine [Clinical Co-ordinator] on Tel: 0208 697 2112
CONTINUED PROFESSIONAL TRAINING ONLY
Dates for your diary 2014
Saturday 29th November 2014
ONE IN FOUR PRESENTS
TRAINING WITH CHRISTIANE SANDERSON
Practical Tools for Working with Clients
This workshop will provide an opportunity for professionals working with survivors of Child Sexual Abuse, Sexual Violence and Domestic Abuse to add techniques and skills to their toolbox. It will combine awareness of safe trauma therapy with a range of tried and tested exercises to use with clients who have experienced complex trauma. Through a series of experiential exercises including journal exercises, grounding skills, setting boundaries, identifying needs and rebuilding relationships counsellors will be able to develop and enhance their existing skills and add new techniques to their therapeutic repertoire.
Previous Training CPD training: Inside the mind of a paedophile. PTSD. Domestic violence. Shame and self harm. Traumatic bonding. Borderline personality disorder. Dissociative identity disorder. Sexual disorders and paraphillias. Understanding the dynamics that occur between the survivor and significant others in their lives, Internal protectors and saboteurs. If you would like to be included on a mailing list for future training, please contact firstname.lastname@example.org or call 020 8697 2112 or 0208 697 8022.
The Launch of One in Four’s handbook ‘The Warrior Within’ was a great success. More info and photos coming soon. In the meantime, you can find more info about the book and buy online here.
A NEW PLAY FROM MOSAC FROM THE MOUTHS OF MOTHERS is a powerful and inspiring drama which tells seven true stories of child sexual abuse using verbatim theatre techniques.
FROM THE MOUTHS OF MOTHERS was created by London-based playwright Amanda Stuart Fisher from 14 hours of interviews with mothers who had discovered that their children had been sexually abused.
Alright, he got his silly five years but he only done eighteen months or something and he’s free now – he can do what he likes. But all three of my children have got a sentence for life.
The play shares with us the voices of mothers who have had to fight to get the support their children needed in the face of terrifying abuse.
Through these interweaved narratives, we learn about failings in Britain’s judicial processes, a lack of support and recognition in the social services and doctors who overlook the physical signs of abuse.
Crossing all walks of life, the play brings us stories of the mothers who become fighters for their children, who risk losing everything in their bid to protect their children from further abuse.
The judge said: ‘if I make an order to allow your father to apply for contact, you realise you have to comply, you have no choice.’ I just basically stood up and I said I don’t care who tells me… I will not subject my daughter to further abuse. I would rather go to prison’
FROM THE MOUTHS OF MOTHERS was created as a collaboration with Mosac, a UK charity which supports non-abusing parents and carers of children whose children have been sexually abused and The Royal Central School of Speech & Drama, University of London and Awards for All.
FROM THE MOUTHS OF MOTHERS will be at The Pleasance, Islington from 22-25 May. Tickets are £12, £10 concessions and can be purchased at www.pleasance.co.uk.
For more information online please visit www.pleasance.co.uk .
For more information on Mosac and its support for non-abusing parents and carers of sexually abused children, please visit www.mosac.org.uk.