Identifying Your Anchors And Safe Spaces
Utilise anchors and safe places to maintain emotional stability and presence, using tangible objects and comforting activities to ground yourself in moments of distress or disorientation.
Anchors
Anchors are any objects that help you feel grounded and represent a feeling of safety, such as a pebble, stone, coin, or crystal. It helps if the anchor is portable, so you carry it with you. It is especially helpful if your anchor is associated with the present day and did not exist in the past when the trauma occurred.
A good example is a modern-day smartphone, whichย you may not have had asย a child. That can be particularlyย helpful during flashbacks and dissociation to orient yourself in the present, and to record instructions to help you to manage disorienting episodes. Other examples are a piece of jewellery, a watch, or aย beaded bracelet.
Another powerful anchor is a comforting smell, such as a favourite scent, aftershave or aroma. Make sure that it reminds you of when you have felt safe and is associated with comfort and wellbeing. You can release it by lighting a scented candle, leaving spices in a bowl in your room, or spraying the scent onto a scarf or piece of clothing. Alternatively, you can wrap a scented herbal tea bag in a tissue or handkerchief and keep it in a pocket, so it can be inhaled as needed.
It helps to identify three anchors to the present in each room in your home, at work, college and in your environment. Focus on three things that you can see, hear, smell, taste, touch or that you feel are calming to look at such as three colours or objects. Say these out loud or in your head and describe them.
Make sure the anchors are pleasing and connected to the present and use them whenever things are difficult or to keep you in the โhere and nowโ.
Safe places
Another powerful way to help you regulate your emotions is to visualise a safe place to which to you can โgoโ when you feel overwhelmed.
Remember one โ past or present โ which has been, is or could be, a site of protection. If there has never been a safe place in your life, then try to imagine one. Whether real or imagined, associate as many sensory cues as you can to this safe place โ smells, sounds, feel, sights, and tastes โ to help you โenterโ it whenever you need to.
You can expand this to create oases in your life. These could include activities that help you to relax, such as a warm bath, sitting in the sunshine in the park, reading, watching a film, listening to music, going to a concert, watching or playing sport, yoga or meditation. It helps to have a comforting grounding position, such as curling up, squatting, or lying under a favourite blanket.
If you find it uncomfortable to relax, instead try invigorating activities you enjoy, such as swimming, exercising, dancing, star jumping, skipping, singing, walking, or running. Identify those that you could easily integrate into your life and make a commitment to engage in them regularly so that they become an established part of your daily life.
